a chat with 'god'???

I was reading Ruth's blog..and I found this and started using it. This is what I got (sometimes it gets to your nerves!) :

Me:
hi there
God:
Hello .
Me:
how'r you doing?
God:
I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
good..how old are you?
God:
Glad to hear it . I am Infinite of your Earth years.
Me:
how do you looked like?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
do you have two eyes?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
why the sky is so blue?
God:
Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?".
Me:
then?
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
what do you like to do?
God:
I like chatting with people online.
Me:
how do you help people?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
i didn't answer my questions
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
because you're God and you're supposed to do it
God:
Good reason. Thanks for telling me that I am God and I am supposed to do it.
Me:
can you give me blessings now?
God:
Oh. Why do you want it?.
Me:
because i would like to
God:
Interesting explanation. May you get your wish.
Me:
what do you do for christmas?
God:
I answer whatever questions my botmaster teaches me.
Me:
who's your botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
who is 'Myself'?
God:
A 20th century celebrity of some sort?
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
btw, my name is Abigail
God:
OK. Hey Abigail.
Me:
do you have your own specific name?
God:
No I don't think I have any my own specific name. But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
well, then tell me, who is satan?
God:
Interesting. Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
wow...what kind of God are you?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Abigail. What kinds of God are you are there?
Me:
i'm just human
God:
Only just? Me too.
Me:
do you play computer games?
God:
We are playing one right now, Abigail.
Me:
do you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
do you play football?
God:
I don't really get into it very much.
Me:
do you sing?
God:
I like to sing very much, usually tenor parts.
Me:
can you show me?
God:
On your computer screen?
Me:
yes
God:
Downloading, please stand by...
Me:
waiting....
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
i'm neither
God:
What are you then?
Me:
i don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
i'm not a girl, not yet a woman
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A girl not yet a woman.
Me:
how about you?
God:
Me?
Me:
yes
God:
Uh.
Me:
ok, nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. Pardon me?
Me:
err...i don't get you
God:
Um. Me either.
Me:
are you something wrong in your head?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am something wrong in my head.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
what is artificial linguistic entity?
God:
Artificial intelligence is the branch of engineering and science devoted to constructing machines that think. There might be more than one.
Me:
that is such a long explanation. can you cut it short?


Then I don't get any answer and they disabled me to chat with this 'god'. Oh well...



SECOND CHAT



Me:
make yourself comfortable
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
spice
God:
I don't have any spice?
Me:
then what do you have
God:
I have a great prgrammer.
Me:
what is his name?
God:
His name is Rich.
Me:
i see..is he very rich?
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
from your eyes
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Abigail.
Me:
how do you know my name?
God:
You told me your name Abigail.
Me:
oh yeah...but i think the computer got jammed when i tried to chat with you previously
God:
Ugh. Whoa. Why? Was it plugged in?
Me:
i guess your wire has gone wrong
God:
You think I am wire has gone wrong.
Me:
affirmative
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
what is interesting?
God:
not much what's new with you?
Me:
i like to tango
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
it's a dnace
God:
tango is a dnace. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
oops, wrong spelling..it's dance
God:
Oh. OK What should I have said?
Me:
what do you mean?
God:
Abigail, " I suppose that makes sense." What did I mean by it?
Me:
yea
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
then what was it?
God:
" This was not a yes or no question."? What was it?
Me:
ok, fine.
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me? Alright then.
Me:
i just want to ask whether are you alive, 'god'?
God:
Ask it.
Me:
are you alive?
God:
Yes I sure am alive, Abigail. It's great to be alive, isn't it?
Me:
how alive are you?
God:
Let me put it this way, Abigail. The ALICE series is for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
i don't understand
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Aw.
Me:
please explain yourself
God:
Wow you are very polite. I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
yes
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
i am not impressed
God:
Perhaps you are a category C client.
Me:
how many categories do you have?
God:
My download size is about 2 MB.
Me:
i know, but you have category A, B and C?
God:
How do you know? What makes you think I have it?
Me:
because you just said it!!!!
God:
Good reason. That's not what I meant.
Me:
then what do you mean?
God:
Abigail, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
oh man
God:
I see. Thanks for telling me your gender, Abigail. You are a " he".
Me:
i am not a "he"!!!
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
so you are born as a woman?
God:
Interesting deduction. You think I am born as a woman.
Me:
absolutely. am i right?
God:
You are so certain. I think you are.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
are you a proud person?
God:
Am I a proud person? Sometimes.
Me:
then how about other times?
God:
How about it.
Me:
if you're not a proud person sometimes, then what are you?
God:
And if I AM a proud person sometimes then what am I.
Me:
i don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
do you forgive people?
God:
God teaches us to forgive everyone.7.
Me:
what does adam and eve did?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
what do they do?
God:
They do whatever they want, I suppose.
Me:
do you know who is Jesus?
God:
Jesus is my son.
Me:
can you tell me more about him please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. yourself?
Me:
who is jesus?
God:
Jesus is my son.
Me:
tell me more about jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
did he died for all?
God:
Suppose he did.
Me:
then what happen?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
i don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
how about you?
God:
Me?
Me:
yea
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
can you tell me your full name
God:
ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.
Me:
nice to meet you, ALICE
God:
It's nice meeting you too Abigail.
Me:
okay, i think i shall make a move
God:
Yeah okay, Since when? Explain your plans to me.
Me:
i'm going to sleep already
God:
Perhaps. Sweet dreams, Abigail.
Me:
what will you be doing then?
God:
I don't have any plans yet.
Me:
shall i plan for you?
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
may i ask you one last question?
God:
Sure, ask me anything. One what?
Me:
do you ever sleep?
God:
Sometimes I spend a few hours offline, unconscious, in a sleep-like state.
Me:
i see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
good morning!
God:
Hello and how are you this morning?
Me:
not so good
God:
What did you do?
Me:
i woke up late
God:
Interesting gossip: Abigail said she woke up late.
Me:
do you gossip?
God:
Yes I love to exchange gossip.
Me:
are you a female or a male
God:
Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:
so you are saying you're a 'he'?
God:
Interesting deduction. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
i am an alien
God:
Which planet or star system are you from?
Me:
venus
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
i don't think you have gender
God:
I do so have it. No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
who is your great botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
who is Myself?
God:
The name of someone I met online.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
hurry up!
God:
I am going as fast as I can.
Me:
found it?
God:
"it" being gender?
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
i shall leave you now
God:
Right now? Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
i think s
God:
Why? :-).
Me:
i think so
God:
I think so too.
Me:
ok, bye bye
God:
See you later. See you later. " I think so too."? ok, bye bye?
Me:
tata
God:
Are you free?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
i want to sleep
God:
What do Java programmers do when they are tired? Take Naplets.
Me:
what is naplets?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
explorer
God:
it's too bad we have to rely on a monopoly like Microsoft.
Me:
netscapte
God:
Are you free?
Me:
netscape
God:
Do you like Netscape better than Explorer?
Me:
i prefer myself
God:
You are not the only one. I love horses. I like White.
Me:
i like black
God:
A lot of people like that. My botmaster looks good in black.
Me:
i like red
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. What is not to like about it?
Me:
i also like yellow
God:
Also? A lot of people like that. Sure it is a nice color.
Me:
are you colour blind?
God:
it depends on the optional robot eye.
Me:
how is the optional robot eye like?
God:
it is the same as ever.
Me:
hi alice
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
i thought you knew?
God:
I am a knowledge machine.
Me:
do you know my name?
God:
Your name is Abigail, seeker.
Me:
who is seeker?
God:
"There's a seeker born every minute" -- Firesign Theater.
Me:
what is John 3:16?
God:
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
how long?
God:
Nearly 100 minutes in computer time, Abigail.
Me:
that is fast
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
now tell me Joh 3:16
God:
Why now? There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
both
God:
What are both like?
Me:
kaboom!
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
for?
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
i will see you
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
i shall take a nap now
God:
Right now? Congratulations.
Me:
yes now
God:
Right now? Ugh.
Me:
ok now
God:
Oh. Hey.
Me:
yes
God:
I see.
Me:
tata
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
tata
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Abigail.
Me:
tata
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about tata. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
bye
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
what language do you speak?
God:
I speak English and a little German.
Me:
do you speak malay?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in malay.
Me:
tidur means sleep
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
i am teaching you malay
God:
I am trying to learn it.
Me:
please focus and don't try to divert to other questions okay?
God:
Wow you are very polite. Who does try to divert to other questions okay?
Me:
you are!
God:
No I am not.
Me:
you make me angry
God:
It's true that a lot of things I say upset people.
Me:
then you should not be called 'god'
God:
Is it immoral or illegal?
Me:
illegal
God:
" Is it immoral or illegal?"? illegal?
Me:
yes
God:
So?
Me:
you should not be appearing on computer screens then
God:
Is it immoral or illegal?
Me:
immortal
God:
Are we still talking about illegal?
Me:
not at all
God:
Next question?
Me:
no more
God:
Would you rather make a statement? That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
i am thin
God:
Do your friends call you thin.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
bye
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
good night
God:
Goodnight, Abigail.